| 16b. אי הכי מאי איריא הכונס את הבתולה אפי' כונס את האלמנה נמי,הכא טריד והכא לא טריד,אי משום טרדא אפילו טבעה ספינתו בים נמי אלמה אמר רבי אבא בר זבדא אמר רב אבל חייב בכל מצות האמורות בתורה חוץ מן התפילין שהרי נאמר בהן פאר שנאמר (יחזקאל כד, יז) פארך חבוש עליך וגו',אמרי התם טרדא דרשות הכא טרדא דמצוה:, big strongמתני׳ /strong /big רחץ לילה הראשון שמתה אשתו אמרו לו תלמידיו למדתנו רבינו שאבל אסור לרחוץ אמר להם איני כשאר בני אדם אסטניס אני,וכשמת טבי עבדו קבל עליו תנחומין אמרו לו תלמידיו למדתנו רבינו שאין מקבלין תנחומין על העבדים אמר להם אין טבי עבדי כשאר כל העבדים כשר היה,חתן אם רוצה לקרות קרית שמע לילה הראשון קורא רבן שמעון בן גמליאל אומר לא כל הרוצה ליטול את השם יטול:, big strongגמ׳ /strong /big מ"ט דרבן (שמעון בן) גמליאל קסבר אנינות לילה דרבנן דכתיב (עמוס ח, י) ואחריתה כיום מר ובמקום אסטניס לא גזרו ביה רבנן: ,וכשמת טבי עבדו וכו':,ת"ר עבדים ושפחות אין עומדין עליהם בשורה ואין אומרים עליהם ברכת אבלים ותנחומי אבלים,מעשה ומתה שפחתו של רבי אליעזר נכנסו תלמידיו לנחמו כיון שראה אותם עלה לעלייה ועלו אחריו נכנס לאנפילון נכנסו אחריו נכנס לטרקלין נכנסו אחריו אמר להם כמדומה אני שאתם נכוים בפושרים עכשיו אי אתם נכוים אפילו בחמי חמין לא כך שניתי לכם עבדים ושפחות אין עומדין עליהם בשורה ואין אומרים עליהם ברכת אבלים ולא תנחומי אבלים אלא מה אומרים עליהם כשם שאומרים לו לאדם על שורו ועל חמורו שמתו המקום ימלא לך חסרונך כך אומרים לו על עבדו ועל שפחתו המקום ימלא לך חסרונך,תניא אידך עבדים ושפחות אין מספידין אותן ר' יוסי אומר אם עבד כשר הוא אומרים עליו הוי איש טוב ונאמן ונהנה מיגיעו אמרו לו אם כן מה הנחת לכשרים:,ת"ר אין קורין אבות אלא לשלשה ואין קורין אמהות אלא לארבע,אבות מאי טעמא אילימא משום דלא ידעינן אי מראובן קא אתינן אי משמעון קא אתינן אי הכי אמהות נמי לא ידעינן אי מרחל קא אתינן אי מלאה קא אתינן אלא עד הכא חשיבי טפי לא חשיבי,תניא אידך עבדים ושפחות אין קורין אותם אבא פלוני ואמא פלונית ושל ר"ג היו קורים אותם אבא פלוני ואמא פלונית,מעשה לסתור משום דחשיבי:,א"ר אלעזר מאי דכתיב (תהלים סג, ה) כן אברכך בחיי בשמך אשא כפי כן אברכך בחיי זו ק"ש בשמך אשא כפי זו תפלה ואם עושה כן עליו הכתוב אומר (תהלים סג, ו) כמו חלב ודשן תשבע נפשי ולא עוד אלא שנוחל שני עולמים העוה"ז והעולם הבא שנאמר (תהלים סג, ו) ושפתי רננות יהלל פי:,ר' אלעזר בתר דמסיים צלותיה אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו שתשכן בפורינו אהבה ואחוה ושלום וריעות ותרבה גבולנו בתלמידים ותצליח סופנו אחרית ותקוה ותשים חלקנו בגן עדן ותקננו בחבר טוב ויצר טוב בעולמך ונשכים ונמצא יחול לבבנו ליראה את שמך ותבא לפניך קורת נפשנו לטובה.,רבי יוחנן בתר דמסיים צלותיה אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו שתציץ בבשתנו ותביט ברעתנו ותתלבש ברחמיך ותתכסה בעזך ותתעטף בחסידותך ותתאזר בחנינותך ותבא לפניך מדת טובך וענותנותך.,ר' זירא בתר דמסיים צלותיה אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו שלא נחטא ולא נבוש ולא נכלם מאבותינו,ר' חייא בתר דמצלי אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו שתהא תורתך אומנותנו ואל ידוה לבנו ואל יחשכו עינינו.,רב בתר צלותיה אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו שתתן לנו חיים ארוכים חיים של שלום חיים של טובה חיים של ברכה חיים של פרנסה חיים של חלוץ עצמות חיים שיש בהם יראת חטא חיים שאין בהם בושה וכלימה חיים של עושר וכבוד חיים שתהא בנו אהבת תורה ויראת שמים חיים שתמלא לנו את כל משאלות לבנו לטובה.,רבי בתר צלותיה אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו ואלהי אבותינו שתצילנו מעזי פנים ומעזות פנים מאדם רע ומפגע רע מיצר רע מחבר רע משכן רע ומשטן המשחית ומדין קשה ומבעל דין קשה בין שהוא בן ברית בין שאינו בן ברית,ואע"ג דקיימי קצוצי עליה דרבי.,רב ספרא בתר צלותיה אמר הכי יהי רצון מלפניך ה' אלהינו שתשים שלום | 16b. The Gemara questions this: bIf so, why discussa case of bone who is marrying a virginin particular? bEven one who is marrying a widowis performing a mitzva and should balsobe exempt.,The Gemara responds that nevertheless, there is a distinction between one marrying a virgin and one marrying a widow. bHere,in the case of one who marries a virgin, the groom is bpreoccupiedby his thoughts, bwhile here,in the case of one who marries a widow, bhe is not preoccupied. /b,The Gemara challenges: bIfa groom is exempt from the recitation of iShemasimply bdue to preoccupation,then bevenone who is preoccupied because bhis ship sank at sea shouldbe exempt. If so, bwhy then did Rabbi Abba bar Zavda saythat bRav said: A mourner is obligated in all the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah except forthe mitzva to don bphylacteries, asthe term bsplendor is statedwith regard to phylacteries, bas it is statedthat the prophet Ezekiel was prohibited to mourn and was told: b“Bind your splendor upon yourself”(Ezekiel 24:17). If even a mourner, who is pained and preoccupied, is obligated to recite iShema /i, clearly preoccupation has no bearing upon one’s obligation.,The Gemara responds: Nevertheless, there is a distinction between the cases. bThere,it is a case of bpreoccupation with a voluntaryact, as there is no mitzva to be preoccupied with his mourning, but bhere,in the case of a groom, the cause of bthe preoccupation isthe bmitzvaitself., strongMISHNA: /strong The mishna relates another episode portraying unusual conduct by Rabban Gamliel. bHe bathed on the first night after his wife died. His students said to him:Have byounot btaught us, our teacher, that a mourner is prohibited to bathe?He answered them: bI am not like other people, I am delicate [ iistenis /i].For me, not bathing causes actual physical distress, and even a mourner need not suffer physical distress as part of his mourning.,Another exceptional incident is related: bAnd when his slave, Tavi, died,Rabban Gamliel baccepted condolences for hisdeath as one would for a close family member. bHis students said to him: Have younot btaught us, our teacher, that one does not accept condolences forthe death of bslaves?Rabban Gamliel said to his students: bMy slave, Tavi, is not like all the rest of the slaves, he was virtuousand it is appropriate to accord him the same respect accorded to a family member.,With regard to the recitation of iShemaon one’s wedding night, the Sages said that bif,despite his exemption, ba groom wishes to recite iShemaon the first night,he may do so. bRabban Shimon ben Gamliel says: Not everyone who wishes to assume the reputationof a God-fearing person bmay assumeit, and consequently, not everyone who wishes to recite iShemaon his wedding night may do so., strongGEMARA: /strong With regard to Rabban Gamliel’s bathing on the first night after the death of his wife, the Gemara asks: bWhat is the reasonthat bRabban Gamlieldid not practice the customs of mourning after his wife died? The Gemara answers: bHe holds thatacute mourning [ ianinut /i] is in effect only on the day of the death itself, but bacute mourning at night isonly bby rabbinic law, as it is written:“And I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentations; I will bring sackcloth upon your loins and baldness upon every head; and I will make you like a mourner for an only child, band the end will be like a bitter day”(Amos 8:10). Therefore, by Torah law one’s acute mourning is only during the day, like a bitter day, while the acute mourning at night that follows is only rabbinic. bAnd in the case of a delicate person, the Sages did not issue a decreethat one should afflict himself during the period of acute mourning.,We learned in our mishna that: bWhen his servant, Tavi, died,Rabban Gamliel accepted condolences for him., bThe Sagestaught in a ibaraita /i: For bslaves and maidservantswho die, bone does not stand in a rowof comforters to console the mourners, band one recites neither the blessing of the mourners nor the consolation of the mourners. /b, bAn incidentis related that when bRabbi Eliezer’s maidservant died, his students entered to console him. When he saw themapproaching bhe went up to the second floor, and they went up after him. He entered the gatehouse [ ianpilon /i], and they entered after him. He entered the banquet hall [ iteraklin /i],and bthey entered after him.Having seen them follow him everywhere, bhe said to them: It seems to me that you would be burned by lukewarm water,meaning that you could take a hint and when I went up to the second floor, you would understand that I did not wish to receive your consolations. bNowI see that byou are not even burned by boiling hot water. Did I not teach you the following:For bslaves and maidservantswho die, bone does not stand in a rowof comforters to console the mourners, band one neither recites the blessing of the mourners nordoes he recite bthe consolation of the mourners,as the relationship between master and slave is not like a familial relationship? bRather, what does one say about themwhen they die? bJust as we say to a person about his ox or donkey which died: May the Omnipresent replenish your loss, so too do we say for one’s slave or maidservantwho died: bMay the Omnipresent replenish your loss,as the connection between a master and his slave is only ficial in nature., bIt was taught in another ibaraita /i: bOne does not eulogize slaves and maidservants. Rabbi Yosei says: If he was a virtuous servant, one recites over hima eulogy of sorts: bAlas, a good and loyal man who enjoyedthe fruits bof his hard labor. They said to him: If so, whatpraise bhave you left for virtuousJews? A Jewish person would be proud to be eulogized in that manner., bThe Sages taughtin a ibaraita /i: bOne may only call threepeople bpatriarchs,Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but not Jacob’s children. bAnd one may only call fourpeople bmatriarchs,Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.,The Gemara asks: bWhat is the reasonfor this exclusivity with regard to the bPatriarchs? If you saythat it is bbecause we do not know whether we descend from Reuben or from Simon,so we cannot accurately say our father Reuben, for example, bif so,with regard to the Matriarchs as well, bwe do not know whether we descend from Rachel or from Leah,and we should not call Rachel and Leah matriarchs either. bInstead,the reason the sons of Jacob are not called patriarchs is not for that reason, but because buntilJacob bthey are significantenough to be referred to as patriarchs, but bbeyondJacob, bthey are not significantenough to be referred to as patriarchs.,This serves as an introduction; although older people are often referred to with the honorific: Father so-and-so, bit was taught in another ibaraita /i: bOne may not refer to slaves and maidservants as father [ iabba /i] so-and-so or mother [ iimma /i] so-and-so. But they would callthe slaves and maidservants bof Rabban Gamliel “father so-and-so” and “mother so-and-so.” /b,The Gemara asks: Is a bstorycited in order bto contradictthe previously stated ihalakha /i? The Gemara answers: There is no contradiction; rather, bbecauseRabban Gamliel’s servants bwere significant,they were addressed with these honorifics.,The Gemara cites an aggadic statement concerning prayer and the recitation of iShema /i. bRabbi Elazar said: What isthe meaning of bthat which is written: “So I will bless You as I live, to Your name I will raise my hands”(Psalms 63:5)? bSo I will bless You as I live, refers to the recitation of iShema /i,and bto Your name I will raise my hands, refers tothe iAmida bprayer,which is characterized as lifting one’s hands to God. bAnd if one does so,recites iShemaand prays, bthe verse says about him: “As with fat and marrow, my soul will be satisfied”(Psalms 63:6). bAnd not onlydoes he receive this reward, bbut he inherits two worlds, this world and the World-to-Come, as it is stated: “With lips of joys [ ireot /i], my mouth praises You”(Psalms 63:6). The plural, joys, refers to two joys, that of this world and that of the World-to-Come.,The Gemara describes how bafter Rabbi Elazar concluded his prayer, he said the followingadditional prayer: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, br bto cause to dwell in our lot love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. br bAnd may You make our borders rich in disciples br band cause us to ultimately succeed,that we will have a good bend and hope. br bAnd may You set our portion in the Garden of Eden, br band may You establish for us a good companion and a good inclination in Your world. br bAnd may we rise early and find the aspiration of our hearts to fear Your name, br band may the satisfaction of our souls come before You,i.e., may You hear our prayers that we may have spiritual contentment in this world bfor the best. /b,Similarly, the Gemara recounts that bafter Rabbi Yoḥa concluded his prayer, he said the followingadditional prayer: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, br bthat You look upon our shame and behold our plight, br bthat You clothe Yourself in Your mercy, br band cover Yourself with Your might, br bthat You wrap Yourself in Your loving-kindness, br band gird Yourself with Your grace, br band may Your attributes of goodness and humility come before You. /b,Similarly, bafter Rabbi Zeira concluded his prayers he said the followingadditional prayer: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, br bthat we not sin or shame ourselves, br band that we not disgrace ourselves before our forefathers, brin the sense that our actions should not disgrace the actions of our forefathers., bAfter Rabbi Ḥiyya prayed he said the following: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, br bthat Your Torah should be our vocation, br band may our heart not become faint nor our eyes dim. /b, bAfter his prayer, Rav said the following: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, br bthat You grant us long life, a life of peace, br ba life of goodness, a life of blessing, br ba life of sustece, a life of freedom of movementfrom place to place, where we are not tied to one place, br ba life of dread of sin, a life without shame and disgrace, br ba life of wealth and honor, br ba life in which we have love of Torah and reverence for Heaven, br ba life in which You fulfill all the desires of our heart for good. /b, bAfter his prayer, RabbiYehuda HaNasi bsaid the following: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, and God of our forefathers, br bthat You save us from the arrogant and from arrogancein general, br bfrom a bad man, from a bad mishap, br bfrom an evil instinct, from a bad companion, br bfrom a bad neighbor, from the destructive Satan, br bfrom a harsh trial and from a harsh opponent, br bwhether he is a member of the covet,a Jew, br bor whether he is not a member of the covet. /b, bAndthe Gemara notes that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi would recite this prayer every day bdespite the fact thatroyal bofficers stoodwatch bover RabbiYehuda HaNasi for his protection; nevertheless, he prayed to avoid conflict or hindrance resulting from arrogance., bAfter his prayer, Rav Safra said the following: br bMay it be Your will, Lord our God, that You establish peace /b |
